The 3 S’s That Sabotage Finals for Kids & Teens (And What Parents Can Do Instead)

If finals week has your house feeling tense, snippy, or like everyone’s operating on 4% patience and vibes… you’re not alone!

And if your child is bright but suddenly can’t start, can’t focus, can’t remember, or is crying over things that normally wouldn’t rattle them, this isn’t “laziness.”

This is executive functioning under pressure.

Finals don’t just test what your child knows. They test the system that manages what your child knows: planning, starting, prioritizing, sustaining attention, using working memory, shifting between tasks, and regulating emotions when stress spikes.

That system is executive functioning. And when it gets overloaded, it can look like:

• Procrastination that seems irrational

• “I forgot” (even when they care)

• A sudden drop in motivation

• Intense emotions over small obstacles

• Shutting down, snapping, or spiraling

• Doing nothing… because everything feels like too much

So if you’re watching your kid unravel and thinking, What is happening?–often the answer is: the brain is maxed out.

And during finals, three sneaky things make that overload way worse.

The 3 S’s:

Sleep. Screens. Sugar.

Not because your child is “doing it wrong,” but because these three directly affect the brain’s ability to focus, remember, and stay regulated–a.k.a the entire finals experience.

Let’s break it down: parent newsletter style, with just enough brain science to be useful (and not overwhelming).

Why These 3 Things Matter (A quick, gentle brain note)

Executive functioning is heavily supported by brain networks that are especially sensitive to:

• Sleep deprivation

• Overstimulation and constant novelty

• Blood sugar swings and under-fueling

When any of those are off, kids can still want to do the work… and still be unable to initiate, persist, or retrieve what they studied. That’s why the same child who can debate politics at dinner suddenly “can’t write a paragraph” during finals week.

This isn’t a character flaw! It’s a nervous system moment…

And here’s the good news: you don’t need to overhaul your life to support it. You just need a few strategic adjustments that create stability.

S #1: Sleep

I know. Every finals season sends the message: Push harder. Stay up later. Do more.

But your child’s brain needs sleep to do the thing we’re all hoping for: store information and retrieve it on demand.

Sleep supports:

• Memory consolidation (learning “sticks”)

• Emotional regulation (less hair-trigger reactivity)

• Cognitive flexibility (less black-and-white panic thinking)

• Attention and processing speed (less “I’m staring but nothing is going in”)

When sleep gets cut, the brain’s ability to retrieve what they studied drops fast. That “I don’t know anything” panic? Sometimes it’s not a knowledge issue. It’s exhaustion.

What sleep loss can look like in real life:

• Studying for hours but retaining nothing

• Crying over simple questions

• Rage over printer problems / missing pencils / the wrong socks

• “I studied but my mind went blank”

• Increased conflict at home (because everyone’s fried)

Try this the night before a test:

• Set a hard stop 30–60 minutes earlier than usual.

• Make the last block light review (flashcards, review sheet, practice questions). No new material.

• Add one wind-down cue: shower, dim lights, stretching, audiobook, calm playlist.

Bonus: the “brain filing cabinet” move
Before bed, have them do a 3-minute “brain dump” on paper:

• What I reviewed today

• What I’m worried I’ll forget

• What I’ll look at first tomorrow

It reduces rumination and helps sleep come faster.

What I’d say to a child:

“Sleep is part of your study plan. We’re protecting your brain tonight.”

What I’d say to a teen who insists they ‘work better late’:

“I hear you. And we’re still doing a hard stop tonight because your brain needs retrieval power tomorrow, not just effort tonight.”

S #2: Screens

Let’s just say it plainly: screens aren’t neutral during finals week.

Screens don’t only distract. They train the brain to expect fast reward and constant novelty: scroll, swipe, new, new, new.

Finals studying requires the opposite: sustained attention + frustration tolerance + staying with something that feels boring or hard.

So if your child studies with their phone nearby and keeps “taking breaks” that turn into 45-minute scroll spirals, it’s not because they’re morally weak.

It’s because attention is not just a decision. It’s a state! And the environment shapes that state.

What screen overload can look like:

• Starting a task feels physically painful

• Needing constant stimulation to keep going

• “I’ll just check one thing” turning into lost time

• More irritability and restlessness

• Less ability to tolerate slow, effortful work

Tiny fixes that help (without power struggles):

Make the work block shorter than you think it should be.

• 25 minutes on / 5 minutes off

• Or for kids who struggle more: 15 on / 5 off

Phones need to be out of reach.
Not face-down. Not in a pocket. Out of reach.

• In the kitchen

• In a drawer

• On a charger across the room

Breaks shouldn’t be algorithm breaks.
If breaks become a scrolling spiral, switch to:

• Water refill

• Snack

• Short walk

• Jumping jacks / stretching

• “Go pet the dog”

• Quick chore (yes, truly… movement resets attention better than doomscrolling)

What I’d say to a teen:

“I’m not worried about your willpower. I’m protecting your focus.”

What I’d say to a parent who feels guilty setting limits:

“This isn’t punishment. It’s scaffolding. We remove scaffolding later. We use it now so the building doesn’t collapse.”

S #3: Sugar

Finals week food tends to turn into chaos:

• skipped breakfast

• vending machine lunch

• late-night snacks

• “I had caffeine, that counts as fuel”

• random sugar hits to push through fatigue

But blood sugar spikes and crashes can mimic emotional and executive-function struggles.

A crash can look like:

• irritability

• anxiety

• tears

• “I can’t do this”

• sudden rage over small things

• collapsing into avoidance

Sometimes what looks like “attitude” is a body saying: I’m under-fueled and dysregulated.

Tiny fixes that help (and don’t require Pinterest):

Create a Finals Fuel Station. Make it visible. Make it easy. Make it repeatable.

Quick combos:

• apple + peanut butter

• yogurt + granola

• crackers + cheese

• hummus + pretzels

• smoothie with protein

• eggs + toast

• trail mix

• banana + nuts

• turkey roll-up + grapes

• leftover pasta + a side of protein

If you want the simplest rule:
Pair a carb + protein/fat. That steadies energy.

Reframe that lands:

“Finals are a brain sport. We’re feeding your brain like an athlete.”

The “Don’t Turn Into the Finals Police” Plan

Here’s what I want for you: support without constant monitoring, structure without daily battles.

A simple daily rhythm (steal-able template)

After school:

• 20–30 minutes decompression (snack + movement + no heavy talk yet)

Then:

• 1–2 timed study blocks (25/5 or 15/5)

• phone out of reach during blocks

Dinner:

• a real meal if possible, or at least stable fuel

Evening:

• light review (not new content)

• pack bag / lay out materials

• hard stop + wind-down

This is not a perfect schedule. It’s a stabilizing one.

What To Say When Your Child Is Spiraling

Sometimes the hardest part of finals week isn’t the studying. Sometimes it’s the emotions that come with it all.

Here are some Candice-approved scripts you can borrow:

When they say “I can’t do this”:

“I believe you that this feels hard. Let’s make it smaller. What’s the first tiny step?”

When they’re melting down over something minor:

“Your brain is overloaded right now. We’re going to regulate first, then we’ll problem-solve.”

When they’re stuck and avoiding:

“Starting is the hardest part. Let’s do two minutes together.”

When you’re tempted to lecture:

“I’m on your team. I’m here to support the system, not judge the struggle.”

The Scholarly-But-Kind Takeaway (aka: what’s really happening)

During finals, demand goes up:

• more deadlines

• more cumulative content

• more pressure and comparison

• more consequences (real or perceived)

When demand rises, executive functioning gets taxed. And when executive functioning is taxed, the body’s basics matter more–because the brain can’t do “higher-order thinking” well when it’s sleep-deprived, overstimulated, and under-fueled.

So the 3 S’s aren’t random lifestyle advice. They’re the foundation.

The Parent Bottom Line

If your kid melts down, procrastinates, “forgets everything,” or suddenly can’t handle basic tasks during finals, it’s usually not defiance.

It’s an overloaded executive functioning system.

And the three sneakiest accelerants are: Sleep. Screens. Sugar.

You don’t need to fix everything this week.
You just need to protect the brain.

A final note:

Your child’s struggle is not a moral failing, and your support doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful.

Bibliography:

Sleep, learning, memory, emotion regulation

1. Stickgold, R. (2005). Sleep-dependent memory consolidation. Nature, 437(7063), 1272–1278. Nature

2. Stickgold, R., & Walker, M. P. (2005). Memory consolidation and reconsolidation: What is the role of sleep? Trends in Neurosciences, 28(8), 408–415. walkerlab.berkeley.edu

Screens / media use, cognition, executive functioning (and related outcomes)

1. Madigan, S., Browne, D., Racine, N., Mori, C., & Tough, S. (2019). Association between screen time and children’s performance on developmental screening tests. JAMA Pediatrics, 173(3), 244–250. JAMA Network

2. (2023). Less screen time, and more physical activity associated with executive function outcomes. The Journal of Pediatrics. Journal of Pediatrics

Task-switching (“multitasking”) and executive control costs

1. Rubinstein, J. S., Meyer, D. E., & Evans, J. E. (2001). Executive control of cognitive processes in task switching. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, 27(4), 763–797. American Psychological Association+1

Breakfast / glycemic index (“sugar crash” angle) and cognition in children

1. Khan, N. A., & colleagues. (2019). Comparative effect of low–glycemic index versus high–glycemic index breakfasts on cognitive function in children and adolescents: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Nutrients, 11(8), 1706. MDPI

2. Ingwersen, J., Defeyter, M. A., Kennedy, D. O., Wesnes, K. A., & Scholey, A. B. (2007). Glycaemic index and glycaemic load of breakfast predict cognitive function and mood in school children: A randomized controlled trial. British Journal of Nutrition. Cambridge University Press & Assessment

3. Cooper, S. B., Bandelow, S., & Nevill, M. E. (2016). The effects of breakfast and breakfast composition on cognition in children and adolescents: A systematic review. Advances in Nutrition. ScienceDirect